October 23, 2006

It has been a while since I last wrote. Probably an indication of some lethargy on my behalf in terms of exploring this town and country! The plan had been to enjoy Hanoi by ourselves and visit the outer lying regions when we have guests. But there has been a dearth of visitors hasn’t there! And it looks like we may not get any until mid-next year eh (I’ll explain the cryptic nature of that comment in due course)......those in the know, quiet please ;)

Anyway. Welcome back. Two small topics for you. I was planning to talk on three minor topics today – Movies, menus, and our new Piaggio motor scooter. But as I started on the Piaggio section, I realized that this beautiful beast needed a dedicated chapter – so I shall fill you in on her some other time.

So, lets tell you about movies in Hanoi.

From what has been seen so far, you get all types of movie theatres here. The ones that look like fire traps, which I am sure will become a horror story reported around the world one day – avoid these ones. The big old ones, which look more like grand halls for communist party meetings. Large and expansive concrete monstrocities – but they work. And actually, they are not too unlike the large movie theatres of old. Then there are the “real” ones – a term that us foreigners use to jokingly refer to the modern multiplexs that one would find in your typical developed (and many non-developed) countries. And, as I discovered to my delight recently, there is one small art house style one with a lovely courtyard to enjoy a beer or coffee before and after the movie. Walking distance from our residence – ah the joys of city living.

But that is not the real point of today’s commentary. The theatres are merely shells that hold the excitement of escape inside.

Experiencing a movie here in Hanoi can be a truly, for want of a better word, interesting, experience. Me lady and I recently went to watch The Worlds Fastest Indian at one of the large old theatres here. NOTE: Before I go any further, if you like motorbikes (especially the old Indian bikes), New Zealand can do attitude, or Antony Hopkins, then this movie is a must! And I’m not just pushing Kiwi movies (I’d push The Motor Cycle Diaries and a million of other movies too)! Fantastic. True story too.

Well. Picture this. The movie starts, and you sink back into your seat to escape your real world for a few hours. The movie credits start to role. Seconds later, a recorded Vietnamese woman’s voice comes over loud and clear. You figure out, she’s reading out the credits. Even the actors’ names. Nevermind, it gets better, or worse depending on your perspective. Actually, I am sure the Vietnamese in the audience think it is rather silly too. As the start of the movie proper approaches, the English speakers in the audience are hanging on the edge of their seats, waiting for the first spoken word of Antony Hopkins. We are all thinking “will the voice over continue, or will they nicely place the Vietnamese translation at the bottom of the screen”.

Finally, the first spoken words of the movie. Antony speaks……damn it. The voice over continues!!! So here we are, listening to Antony and his fellow actors speaking in English, and our Vietnamese translator keeping pace with them. It’s like a shouting match – who can be the loudest.

The experience is just bearable. And where else will we catch this movie on the big screen in this town.

Ok, let’s take a step back, and look at this in all fairness to the movie house. We are in Vietnam. The movie theatre is one patronized mostly by Vietnamese. But even then, what is rather amusing about it all is the number of people employed to do the voice overs. A grand total of ONE! Yes, our 40-something year old Vietnamese female voice was speaking on behalf of Antony Hopkins’ character, his girl friend, the young boy from next door, the cross dresser at the hotel in L.A., and the background radio in the car. Everyone…..and thing. She was even gracious enough to tell us when the birds were chirping and the dogs were barking.

But it was an experience. People like myself were able to hear enough of the English being spoken to get the gist of the story – sort of like talking to someone in a crowded bar. Some teacher friends mentioned they were already skilled in shutting out classroom chatter, so found it not too bad. It was poor me lady who suffered the most. She understood both the English and the Vietnamese – sort of like having two voices in your head at the same time. Scary!

This style of voice over is common in the older theatres for any foreign movie – English, Japanese, Chinese, French, whatever. To avoid such experiences, go to the art house theatre or the ‘real’ modern multiplex ones. They provide subtitles for the Vietnamese audience if required.

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Just one other small topic to talk on.

Have you seen those emails going around that list English inaccuracies in non-english speaking countries? Where hotels, bars, public places, where-ever, in non-English speaking countries, have written a notice to us pathetic sods who only speak one tongue. Trouble is, their English is not perfect, and they’ve written the sentences in such a way that we find humourous.

Well, I can now say that me lady and I have witnessed this. And I can now formally advise you that one of the nice French cafes here in Hanoi does have Chicken Gordon Blue on the menu.

What is midly humorous about this, is that we used to joke about this as kids anyway. Maybe Weiner Jandel is out there on some unsuspecting menu. Waiting to be discovered.

Shall keep you posted.

Ciao for now.

Please send your comments and questions to: tom@eyeonhanoi.com